What do you want me to say?
by Beagairbheag
Summary: That I don't want you to go? Follows on from In Ruins and Morning After. KelDom


Don't hate me.

This appeared in my head today and I just had to write it. It was either this, which could have a happy second chapter, or an AU story where Kel defeats Blyce but still loses her life and we see the journey back to Tortall (with Kel's body) from Dom/Neal/Owen/Tobe's eyes. God I had tears in my eyes imagining that story.

None of these stories are connected to GoaS, it has its own sequel planned…if I ever manage to finish the latest chapter, which I am working on. Promise.

* * *

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Dom asked when they returned to her quarters after the meeting.

While he sat down heavily on her bed, she continued to move about the small room, focusing on making sure everything was in its right place and tidy.

"What would you like me to say?" she asked quietly as she stopped what she was doing and stood patiently beside her desk, looking at him directly for the first time since he had revealed the news that the messenger had brought from Sir Lord Raoul, the commander of the Kings Own and Kel's former Knight Master.

"I don't know, I just told you I would be leaving tomorrow. Something, anything, would be nice" he said shaking his head lightly.

Kel only stood at the other side of the small room but, as she looked at him, never before had she felt so detached from him, so far away. She pressed herself closer to the desk, its sharp edges cutting into her back while her hands gripped the wood tightly as she struggled to remain calm and emotionless, just as she had been taught as a child.

"Oh no, don't do that to me" Dom said suddenly as he watched her face and saw her slide her mask into place.

"Do what?" she asked nervously, fully aware of what she was doing but continuing nonetheless.

"Going into lock down, hiding your emotions that mask of yours," he said heatedly, getting to his feet and completing the few short strides that it took to cross the room, so that he was standing but a foot away from her

"I'm," she began

"Your human Kel, its natural to show some occasionally" he said as he tore his gaze from her and began to pace the small area.

"Does this," he said, gesturing between the two of them before coming to a halt right in front of her "mean anything to you? Or have I merely been someone to keep your bed warm at night?

He wasn't expecting the slap and, in an odd twisted way, it gave him some hope that she would finally open up to him and tell him what was on her mind and how she felt, but boy did it hurt. He rubbed the spot where she had hit but refused to drop his gaze, his eyes locked on hers.

"What do you want me to say?" she repeated, her eyes ablaze with emotion though her voice was level and calm "That I don't want you to go? What good will that do? Come tomorrow you'll still be leaving"

Dom finally tore is gaze from hers and let his head fall so that his chin rested on his chest. His eyes closed and he took a few deep breaths "It might not change the outcome," he said, raising his head to gaze sadly at her "But it would be nice to hear," he cleared his throat "To know that you care"

"Of course I care" she said quietly

"I don't know that Kel" and he let out a short bark of laughter, running his hand through his hair "I don't know what your thinking half the time, or what your feeling"

She stood their in silence, unable to voice the feelings in her heart and she watched as an understanding came to his face. She knew, that he knew, she wasn't going to say anything.

She closed her eyes as he took a step towards her.

He brought his hands up to cup her face and gently placed a kiss on her forehead, then one on her cheek. His breathing was deep and even, as though he was trying to place this moment in his mind. A memory to take with him.

He whispered a goodbye in her ear then he finally placed a kiss on her lips, his touch so light that in the days and weeks to follow, she wondered if she had dreamt it up.

When she opened her eyes, he was gone.

Kel stood alone in her room, letting the last few minutes sink in before her knees finally gaze in and she slid to the floor. The tears that had been threatening to spill from her eyes now ran as rivers down her cheeks and a sob unfurled from her chest, sounding unnaturally loud to her ears.

She raised a hand to her face and gently ran a finger along her lips, savouring his last touch. Using the same hand, she angrily wiped at the tears that streamed down her face, with the heal of her palm. Closing her eyes in an attempt to steam the flow, she leant back and placed her head against the cool wood of the desk.

"Don't go, please" she said to the empty room, void of the occupant whom the words where meant for.

* * *

When the morning dawned Kel awoke to find herself in her bed, tangled in the sheets with her pillow damp. It took her a moment or two to remember the events of the night before and she sat up suddenly. Jumping from the bed, still dressed from the night before, Kel headed through the door and out into the courtyard.

Taking the stairs two at a time she headed up to the walk way and looked out over the horizon.

There was nothing.

Kel started when she felt a hand on her shoulder and Neal's face came into view.

"He'd gone" he said simply.


End file.
